martes, 10 de marzo de 2009

May you have many fiestas...

SORRY!

I feel like I need to apologize for my lack of blogs lately, but I've felt crazy busy. It's funny though, because along with that busyness, I feel like I don't do shit... EVER! But it's a nice balance nonetheless. I am still in love with Spain, which is always a good sentiment when you're going to be living somewhere for at least 3 more months.

But I'm really here right now to blog about the lovechild of Franklin Street Halloween & Mardi Gras, CARNAVAL! I think it celebrates the weeks leading up to Lent, but I'm not completely sure. Either way, the party in Cadiz lasts for 15 crazy nights. And whoever said Spaniards don't get drunk was a dirty liar.

We got to Cadiz around 12 pm on Saturday, the last day of Carnaval. After roaming the city for a while, stopping in for some BONER Mexican food (okay, it wasn't that good, but for the love of God it was Mexican), and staring at some pretty ridiculous street performers, the sun started to set and the lights turned on --- Carnaval time. We all picked out some simple "disfraces" aka costumes, but the Spaniards one-up'ed us all. I went as a baby, seeing as all the items would easily slip into my purse so I could sightsee around Cadiz and not look like a complete douchebag.

So, back to the costumes. I guess it's customary in Cadiz for an entire group to go wearing the exact same costume. We found this out once we got there, of course, so we looked a little silly as two vikings, a cowgirl, a mouse & a baby, but it's whatever. Some of the best costumes included:

- Chickens and/or chicks; the chicks were half-hatched, so still in their eggs. Seriously, half the people there were dressed as chickens. I wish I knew why.
- Africans, meaning that the Spaniards were in BLACK FACE. I guess I shouldn't consider that a "best costume," but rather it should win the "most shockingly inappropriate and illegal costume of all time"
- Harlem Globetrotters, also in black face
- The guy from SAW (Imagine a group of 4 of them; needless to say I was creeped out)
- The DUFF Beer Man and lots of other Simpsons costumes -- the Simpsons is wayyy too popular here
- Men dressed as women, my favorite being either the men dressed as a Bachelorette Party or the many men Flamenco dancers
- A group of about 15 Rafael Nadals, all doing the fist pump. None of them were as hot as him, but hey, a girl can dream.
- A Flasher, complete with an enormous fake penis. We saw this guy getting ready at the train station, making it even more awesome, because about 10 50-something Spanish women were oogling over his huge, fake member.

So as the night goes on and as people get more drunk, things, of course, get a touch more ridiculous. Elle, Derrick and Ricky decided at about 1 that they were tired and were ready to go back to the train station. Since our train wasn't coming until 7:40 am, Angela and I decided to hang out for a bit longer and soak up what we knew would be absolutely absurd.

I guess, like before, I will just give a bulleted list of all the unreal people we met that night. That's the best way of depicting Carnaval.

- Perhaps my favorite was Antonio. Am I sure of his name? Absolutely not. I just call him Antonio because he was dressed as Antonio Banderas from Interview with a Vampire. (Side Note: I had no idea he was in that movie. I swear to God his resume only had like 4 credits, 3 Shrek movies & Aida, but whatever). He came up to Angela and I as we were meandering through the crowd and asked, "Do you have lapiz, for the eye (eyeliner)?" Huh? "I need to redraw my eyes" (apparently Antonio Banderas had catwoman eyes in this movie). We both said no, and even if I had some, I would probably not give my eyeliner to a perfect stranger. We ended up talking to Antonio for a good half hour. He kept telling us how bad we spoke English (?), and that we should talk to him in Spanish and he would respond in English. He also said the most unreal racist remark of my life, that Obama is "dirty" and needs to shower and get the dirt off. WOW. Antonio also asked Angela and I if we had 7-Up & Ice. Oh yea, because I carry a vending machine and freezer around in my purse like fucking Mary Poppins. But I did appreciate Antonio's well wishes to us as we walked away from him:

May you have a long life with many years, many fiestas & much alcohol.... and much sex. SHH!

- We ran into this guy dressed as a big baby, like me, so we knew we had to take a picture with him. I didn't realize just how SHITFACED he was. He grabbed my bottle and proceeded to LICK THE ENTIRE THING. Then he wanted a solo picture with it, and I obliged because I didn't want to touch that bottle ever again. His friends then, SHOCKINGLY, started to work as this drunk baby's wingman: "My friend... has huge dick." Completely cool and collected with this kind of conversation at this point, Angela and I just said "wow, typical," grabbed my bottle, and left.

(I also had decided earlier not to make a boyfriend at Carnaval. Why, you may be asking? Well, what kind of pervert hits on a girl dressed as a baby? Exactly.)

- This next one is horrifying to rehash, but I will. Angela and I were just walking through the crowds, minding our business, inhaling the ever-strong scent of marijuana, when a disgusting 40-something man shuffles over to us. He never speaks, just starts playing with my baby bottle again and FEEDING it to me. Angela snaps the most uncomfortable looking picture of my life of him feeding me. He then proceeds to DIP ME and ATTEMPT TO KISS ME ON THE MOUTH. Oh. My. God. Thankfully, I am a spy, and was able to roll out of his grasps before getting kissed. Then, for some reason, we thought it would be a great idea for Angela to take a picture with this pirate creeper. After her shot, HE LICKED HER ON THE FACE. LICKED. Wow. We then proceeded to RUN.

- This last one isn't that funny, but whatever. I met this guy dressed as a vampire, or at least someone wearing a cape. I guess he was so drunk that he was unable to control his volume, so he just screamed at Angela and I within normal talking distance for about 5 minutes. And I had no clue of anything he was saying. Of course, I was being a bitch and kept asking him, "Habla en una voz mas alta, por favor," meaning "speak louder, please."

At this point, and after trapsing around the broken 40s of beer, we decided that it was time to head back to meet up with everyone. This is also after realizing that there were NO real cops in sight, that the men we thought were cops were just costumes. I love how Spanish authorities allow a giant party to happen 15 nights in a row without shutting it down. I would also hate to be the guy who had to clean up everything from that night, because I at least saw 5 people vomiting, one of whom may or may not have been comatose in a trash pile.

The rest of the night was heinous, because we couldn't get into the train station. Instead, we ended up sleeping in a traffic circle's green patch (we didn't realize til later that we were in a traffic circle) until the station opened at 6 am. It was ghetto, but hey, it's Spain. I don't remember much else of the morning, because I was passed the hell out. But, all in all, Carnaval was an unreal experience that made me miss Franklin Street just a little bit.

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