lunes, 30 de marzo de 2009

Chivalry ain't dead

We all know the tale... a knight gallops up on his horse to the beautiful damsel in distress. Despite 50 pounds of clanking metal and a sore groin (from riding the horse, pervs), he leaps in front of the gentle maiden in time to hold open the castle door for her. Although it may seem a fleeting memory of the real kind of man we'd like to meet, I say, chivalry never died.

That's because it never was born. Chivalry was NEVER REAL.

Let me lay a new image on you: The same knight gallops up on his stallion to find the same maiden. "Damn-sel," he thinks to himself. "Shawty is a 10." He hops off his horse, groin still hurting (possibly for a different reason this time. YES!) and races to the castle door. In whipping it open, he stands back and is able to stare with an unbroken gaze at the unsuspecting maiden's ass.

Yes. I am proposing that "chivalry" is just a way for a guy to check out a girl's ass for a hot second without reprimand.

Now, this really hasn't ever happened to me (although I think you should check it out next time you open the door for me. I've been doing my lunges *wink*). However, it occurred to me the other day as a guy held the door open for me, "He could literally be doing anything behind me right now and I probably wouldn't realize it."

I have created this scientific diagram...

to present further evidence of the ease with which a seemingly chivalrous man can so quickly take advantage of a flattered girl with a nice tail.

So ladies, take that chivalry with a grain of salt next time. You never know if that old toothless man with the mullet is searing your ass with his laser beam eyes. I'm just sayin.'

1 comentario:

  1. I don't think I've ever laughed harder than when I saw that diagram... hahahaha...

    But on the real, though: Trying to call the homies out 'grande' on some speculative reasoning? That's not a good look, son. You know better than that. Do some more research, lol.