miércoles, 25 de febrero de 2009

25 Things (I hate myself for doing this; tying up the noose as we speak)

oI feel like these things are obnoxious on Facebook, so I'm doing it here ONLY BECAUSE I HAVE BEEN TAGGED, LIKE, 1,000 FUCKING TIMES. I KNOW I'M HILARIOUS AND YOU WANT TO KNOW ALL ABOUT ME, BUT REALLY!?


1. I have cried at a John Mayer concert. I also cried later that day thinking about it in the airport (I saw him on Good Morning America... I was like, 10 feet away. You would cry too if it happened to you. Oh, and Eric Clapton came out). I would probably saw off my own arm to meet him. I seriously love him way too much for it to be considered healthy or normal fandom.

2. Speaking of celebrities, I could probably tell you everything about every celebrity that you probably don't even care to know. Did you know George Clooney had a pet pig? Didn't think so. I am full of worthless pop culture information. This is why I felt wrong majoring in News Writing, because I know absolutely NOTHING about politics in the free world, nothing about wars or public health or anything of worldly importance, but I could tell you who just won the Oscar for Best Actress (Kate Winslet --- LOVE HER).

3. I have a lot of gay friends. It makes me incredibly angry when people think that one "chooses to be gay," because, well, you don't. I get really mad when people are socially conservative. It's the 21st century people, let's move on.

4. People think it's weird that I have no contact with my mom's parents (technically my grandparents, but I really don't consider them to be so). It's a really complicated situation, but I know that my mom and dad wouldn't put me in a bad situation, so I know that the relationship isn't worth my time.

4b. It also makes me incredibly depressed to know that my dad's parents are gone. My grandma was seriously the best.... she would always laugh at my jokes (the true measure of a good person in my world) and give me tissues out of her bra HAHA. I really was lucky to have 11 years with her.

4c. I never got to meet my pop pop, and it really saddens me as well. "He would've loved you" doesn't exactly suffice for knowing someone. I want to go to his village in Italy while I'm here in Spain.

5. I am in love with Spain (that might be blatantly obvious). Every day I'm here walking around, I continue to think to myself that I could live here.

5a. However, I probably wouldn't be so happy if it weren't for Angela (my wife). We seem to attract the creepy/awkward, but it makes for funny stories. Our nightly talks/bitch sessions, some of which are when we are literally asleep, also keep me sane here.

6. On the subject of family... we are the FUNNIEST family on Earth. Really. I sometimes want to plant video cameras around the house to capture the essence of us (Not in a peeping tom way, you know). My favorite is when we all are together eating dinner. Holy shit, or the family reunions. That's really when the crazy comes out.

7. I don't know what I want to do with my life. My career paths in live have changed drastically: teacher, marine biologist, dentist, writer, diplomat, hooker. As of now, my top three ideal situations are:
a) Marry rich and freeload
b) Celebrity publicist
c) Author and professional blogger
I can't decide.

8. I don't read for pleasure. I don't read for school for that matter.

9. I haven't eaten pig products since I read Charlotte's Web in the third grade. It might be Wilbur!

10. I used to be a child model for a department store in Reading, PA -- Boscov's. They stopped calling one day... it hurt.

11. I would love to be in a Judd Apatow movie. They never get old to me and are all hilarious. I could probably recite the majority of Superbad as well. That movie made me have a crush on Jonah Hill.

12. My ideal boyfriend would have to be an artistic talent, funny, and would preferably have an accent. If he played the guitar, I would probably take my pants off right there. Awkward but true. I guess the key (to the ignition, *wink*), though, is a sense of humor.

12a. I don't really like sappy stuff in relationships. It's awkward.

13. People think that just because I act like an idiot, I'm not smart. I clearly remember someone in high school assuming that I was joking that I got into UNC because I acted a fool in drama class all the time.

14. High school Theater is probably my favorite memory of high school, if not my teenage life. I seriously don't regret a minute of it... I actually think about it a lot and miss everyone. I made the best friends of my life there as well. It also taught me that it was okay to be myself, as p*ssy as that sounds.

15. I used to have a hamster named M.C. Hamster. I burned him once in the sink giving him a bath and almost killed him, but he lived. I also clearly remember the morning I woke up and he was dead in his cage. My mom made me go to school.

16. I have an unwarranted fear of fish. I cannot swim in bodies of water (oceans, lakes, etc.) if I start thinking of the giant fish lurking below the surface. I don't eat fish, either. It's the smell.

17. I hate cats as well. But once I saved a stray cat that I found in my yard. My dad tried, after about a month of me feeding him, to call in the ASPCA or one of those organizations that gases the animals. I cried so hard that he let him stay. My mom's friend from work took him later that month to an adoption place for p*ssies, and he was adopted within the week. This was all when I was, like, 18 by the way.

18. It scares me to think about growing up. I might be in a quarter-life crisis right now because I feel so old. Don't remind me that I'm graduating next year.

19. Thinking back now, I really don't know how the nickname "Beast" didn't make me suicidal.

20. I am infinitely jealous of my sister Julie because she's always known exactly what she wants to do with her life. I am infinitely jealous of Cristina because she is so outgoing -- she could make friends with Osama Bin Laden. I think now that we're older we really value each other. Heavy stuff.

21. I once witnessed a tragic house fire at Ocean Isle Beach. It changed my life... living for the present is key. I also really started to appreciate my family and friends a LOT more.

22. I cry a lot over silly things. Examples: When Barack Obama mentions Michelle in speeches, when actors accept their Oscars, every second Robin Williams is on the screen in Good Will Hunting, etc.

23. I sometimes experience baby fever. I see a really cute baby and then it really makes me want to have one. Then I realize I'm only 20 and I start to feel really uncomfortable about myself. Creepy now to see it in writing.

23a. I am convinced I will become a librarian and have no children, so fuck baby fever.

24. I really don't know how my best friend has put up with me for 10 years. I am probably the most annoying son-of-a-bitch I know. Shout out!

25. I'm obsessed with my parents. It's weird how we didn't have that much growing up because I never knew it. They are so selfless. It's crazy, and I hope I can be half as good to my potential children as they were to me.

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